When I Think of the Cross

While going through old documents for possible memoir goodies, I found this poem, written around 2002.

 

When I Think of the Cross

 

Of You on the cross,

And what You suffered there,

Beyond the physical pain,

To the pain and shame and eternal aloneness of Your soul,

That You suffered for me,

I am crushed.

And brought low.

And tempted to stay low

From the sorrow of it.

 

But Your voice gently reminds me to look up!

To where You’re seated now,

In the glory You deserve.

You won the victory.

And if I come up

Out of the ugliness of my soul,

You win the victory again. 

A Continuing Grace

Are you like me, a sinner saved by Jesus, who often still sins?

 

That is the biggest struggle in my life, believing that God can still forgive me when I sin again after I’ve experienced his grace; being able to accept his forgiveness for the sin I commit after I’ve learned of his love for me.

 

A wise counselor once explained to me that the devil works harder on me than he does on people who are at the bar every night. If God wouldn’t still forgive us, why would the devil still bother with us Christians?

 

At times in my life when I’ve doubted the existence of God, I’ve never had trouble believing in the devil. Although I can’t blame him for my sin, I can surely recognize all the ways he tempts and harasses me.

 

And he would not need to bother with me if I were not still eligible for god’s grace.

 

1 Peter 5:8-9: 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

 

Does this mean I need to focus my thinking on the devil all the time?

 

Another wise teacher once said that experts on counterfeit money do not spend most of their time looking at counterfeit bills. Instead they focus their attention on being more and more familiar with what real money looks like. Then they will recognize when a bill is not correct.

 

Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

 

God saved us when we did not love him. But now that we have joined our lives to Jesus, he works even harder for us.

 

Romans 5:9-10: Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

 

Does that mean we just continue a life of sin and not worry about it? I don’t believe anyone who truly longs for a life with Christ really believes that. Our deepest heart is to obey God.

 

Romans 6:1-2: What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

 

As a longtime student of the bible, I know the Scriptures which answer these fears I have. Yet I worry that my heart has become too hard, that God’s hope can no longer break through my crust of fear.

 

Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword,

piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow,

and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

 

And yet God’s hope still finds me. His word is living, and he brings to my mind anew the promises that his grace is still for me.

 

The apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, struggled with the wretchedness of sin he still dealt with. I recommend reading the whole of Romans chapter 7, but I want to share a few of the verses of Romans 7:14-25 which God reminded me of recently.

 

Romans 7: 14-16: We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.

19: For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

21-25: So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. 

Psalm 7, Trusting the Justice of God

David was a man of strong emotions. In other Psalms he agonizes over his sin and begs God for forgiveness.

 

In this case, David was confident of his righteousness and calls on God to display his anger and justly deal with the wicked and David’s enemies. David trusted God to protect him from those who pursued him.

 

Psalm 7: A shiggaion of David, which he sang to the Lord concerning Cush, a Benjamite.

Lord my God, I take refuge in you;

    save and deliver me from all who pursue me,

or they will tear me apart like a lion

    and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

Lord my God, if I have done this

    and there is guilt on my hands—

if I have repaid my ally with evil

    or without cause have robbed my foe—

then let my enemy pursue and overtake me;

    let him trample my life to the ground

    and make me sleep in the dust.

Arise, Lord, in your anger;

    rise up against the rage of my enemies.

    Awake, my God; decree justice.

Let the assembled peoples gather around you,

    while you sit enthroned over them on high.

    Let the Lord judge the peoples.

Vindicate me, Lord, according to my righteousness,

    according to my integrity, O Most High.

Bring to an end the violence of the wicked

    and make the righteous secure—

you, the righteous God

    who probes minds and hearts.

My shield[d] is God Most High,

    who saves the upright in heart.

God is a righteous judge,

    a God who displays his wrath every day.

If he does not relent,

    he will sharpen his sword;

    he will bend and string his bow.

He has prepared his deadly weapons;

    he makes ready his flaming arrows.

14 

Whoever is pregnant with evil

    conceives trouble and gives birth to disillusionment.

Whoever digs a hole and scoops it out

    falls into the pit they have made.

The trouble they cause recoils on them;

    their violence comes down on their own heads.

I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness;

    I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.

 

David had many trials and sorrows, yet he trusted in God’s justice and praised him for his righteousness

 

Lord, help me to trust you to punish those who cause horror in our world 

A Prayer From My Heart

My heart has been so sick since the school shooting in Texas this week, so quickly following other mass shootings in our country. I don’t know how parents are able to live this way, sending their children to school each day.

 

I pray for the families and students in Texas, and I pray for a change in our country.

 

Father God, help the families and students from Texas to find comfort from your hand. I know you ache for them.

 

And Father, give us in the United States wisdom and the courage to bring about changes in our country. I know you can help us, and that you want to. Help us be wise and brave, and to love each other.

 

Philippians 4: 6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

James 1:5: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 

Guest Author, Angela D. Shelton

Thank you, Angela, for sharing with us.

 

Just One More

By Angela D. Shelton

 

No more animals please…

…Except maybe that one.

Whenever people hear I live on a cattle ranch, specific visions pop into their minds. Fields, fences, cowboy hats, and horses are among the most common. Romantic rides into the sunset.

To which I say, “Yeah. Right!”

First, I live in Georgia. Think yellow pine—everywhere. Ranchers carved pastures out of the trees here and the fence lines need to be maintained or those pines will take over in a heartbeat.

Second, we rarely ride off into the sunset. We may enjoy it from the back deck, but we don’t have time to meander towards it, most days.

Cattle, chickens, greenhouse, dogs, and crops fill our days, and sometimes evenings, weekends, and vacations as well.

One of the most frequent questions is: “Do you have a horse?” Usually, children ask this, and it’s most often a girl who inquires. Sometimes big girls, too. But unfortunately for them, the answer is always the same: “No.”

We don’t have the time or money to devote to one more animal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that to myself, or to my husband. And he’s said it many times to me as well.

But then we saw this poor Labrador lying beside the road, obviously in trouble. She’d been hit by a car. No tags, no collar, nobody to take care of her.

We already had two large dogs. Ricky and Lucy, who are constantly underfoot. No, really. Constantly. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tripped over a dog who was determined to lie beside me, under my feet, or behind me when I wasn’t looking.

As a couple, we’ve agreed, many times, no more dogs, cats, birds, snails… anything that requires care. We’ve got plenty to care for now as it is. Thank you very much!

And then we saw her. Lying there. We couldn’t drive by.

When my husband lifted the dog into the truck, she was too dizzy from a concussion to do more than nip at him. The poor baby. Fortunately, our vet was nearby, an extremely kind man with a staff who loves animals and cares for them.

After a week in the doctor’s office, and she was well enough to go home. But where was home? We didn’t know, and she wasn’t telling. The local vet hadn’t seen her before, so he didn’t know where she belonged either.

We called a few people and shared her picture, but no home.

So, guess what?

Now we have three big dogs that we trip over and fight with for the couch.

Apparently, we had room for one more in our home and in our hearts. I guess our limits aren’t more than mental stopping points.

Perhaps you have a place in your heart where you’ve put up your hand and said, “no more.” Is there perhaps a little wiggle room instead? Not necessarily a dog, but perhaps a friend you can invite on a girls’ day out? Or a neighbor who could use a home cooked meal? Or a charity who could put that last $5 in your pocket to good use?

Take a peek. Maybe you really have room… for one more.

 

Collapse: The Death of Honor is in pre-release sales now and is live on June 1st. 

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09Z2VHHB5 

Caleb already lost his dreams when the variant ended life as he knew it, but when blackmailers threaten to destroy his life permanently, he must learn to trust others to forgive or lose the only family he has. 

In a collapsing society, former quarterback Caleb Worthington is no longer a teenager with a secret in his past, but a man searching for his future. But when a blackmailer uses his mistakes against him, his nightmares take over reality. Now, trying to safeguard everything the Worthingtons stand for, he’s finding out being a man is as much about one’s choices as actions—and his are putting his family at risk. 

As the blackmailers up their game, his home-field advantage dwindles, and he can’t count on his teammates since even his best friend is acting the fool. 

Unwilling to share the burden, despite how it’s affecting his family, can he find an honorable play once this “game” really kicks off? And what will it take for Caleb to come clean with those he loves? 

Grace and Truth, John 13:31-38, Our Assignment to Love

Jesus lovingly called his disciples “My children.” He warned them that soon, he would no longer be with them.

 

Verse 33: “My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come.

 

Jesus left them, and us, with a huge assignment, to love each other as he loved us, to show the world we belong to him.

 

34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 

Peter promised that he would die for Jesus. Jesus was fully aware of Peter’s coming denial. Yet, above, he called him his child.

 

36-38: Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”

Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”

Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? Very truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!

 

Lord, I yearn to be a sign of your love by the way I treat others. Thank you for loving me as your child, even with all the times I’ve failed you. 

A Great New Friendship

I always thought of myself as a good daughter. As soon as I left for college, I started calling my folks every week. Back in the days when letters were more common, I even wrote once a week.

 

A few years ago, when I got a cell phone with unlimited hours, I thought, why not call Mom twice a week?

 

In the summer of 2020, my mom had knee surgery and was in the hospital and rehab for most of July. I know how not fun it is to be in the hospital, so I called her every day.

 

Once she went home, I had a brilliant idea. Why not continue calling her every day? My husband Murray asked why I’d only been calling her twice a week before. My only answer was, “Habit.”

 

I usually call Mom around 2:00 in the afternoon, when a TV show she likes to watch is over. I love this time we have together so much.

 

I was never really a good daughter. When I was younger, I didn’t want to talk to my parents about personal stuff. As I aged, I thought I shouldn’t say anything that might upset or worry them.

 

Really, it was pretty much always my mom I spoke with. My dad wasn’t much of a phone talker. But he’s been gone for 13 years, and my mom lives alone now.

 

I hope my mom feels the same, but I really enjoy the new relationship we have.

 

Some days we struggle to find much to talk about. Other days we go on for nearly an hour, and if Murray asks what we talked about, I have a hard time remembering anything.

 

We discuss our physical complaints. Mom told me she read in a women’s health book that our bladder is the size of a walnut. Sounds about right.

 

We love talking about food, what we’re having for dinner, what we’ve cooked lately, eating restaurant food.

 

Recently, Mom had a doctor appointment to go to. Afterward, she sat in the car while my brother went into the store to get a few things. She told me about the people watching she enjoyed doing.

 

Of course, it’s always easy for me to talk about my kids, and Mom tells me about my brothers and other relatives.

 

Mom, Lila Mae, is an artist. She tells me she’s done some drawing, but most of her art is done through quilting, crocheting, embroidery, patterns she follows and ones she makes up.

 

I must have inherited that desire from her. I can’t come up with any of my own patterns, and I can’t do all she does, but I love to knit and crochet.

 

We love talking about things we’re working on, new patterns. It’s nice to be able to ask her questions about a crochet project I’m working on.

 

We laugh. We’re sad. We gripe. Weather is an almost daily thing to complain about.

 

It’s all such a joy to me. I could feel sad that I let so many years go by without enjoying this wonderful person in my life, but what good would that do? I just thank God for the gift he’s given me to share with my mom every day now.