Psalm 119:121-128 Ayin

ע Ayin

I have done what is righteous and just;

    do not leave me to my oppressors.

Ensure your servant’s well-being;

    do not let the arrogant oppress me.

My eyes fail, looking for your salvation,

    looking for your righteous promise.

Deal with your servant according to your love

    and teach me your decrees.

I am your servant; give me discernment

    that I may understand your statutes.

It is time for you to act, Lord;

    your law is being broken.

Because I love your commands

    more than gold, more than pure gold,

and because I consider all your precepts right,

 I hate every wrong path.

Father God, you know all that is in me, all the good and all the bad. Thank you, God, that still, you allow me to come and pour out all that is on my heart. Teach me your mind, your will, your ways of living in the world. Protect me and keep me safe. Because you love us, rescue all who are being treated against your will.

Psalm 119:113-120, Samekh

ס Samekh

I hate double-minded people,

    but I love your law.

You are my refuge and my shield;

    I have put my hope in your word.

Away from me, you evildoers,

    that I may keep the commands of my God!

Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live;

    do not let my hopes be dashed.

Uphold me, and I will be delivered;

    I will always have regard for your decrees.

You reject all who stray from your decrees,

    for their delusions come to nothing.

All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross;

    therefore I love your statutes.

My flesh trembles in fear of you;

    I stand in awe of your laws.

Father God, your word is clear about your love and grace, your patience and forgiveness and mercy. I believe this.

But your word is also definite about your hate for evil and unfair treatment of people.

Let me hate the evil and unfairness you hate, and teach me to offer your mercy and grace to those around me.

Grace and Truth: John 8:1-11

The gospel of John is my favorite book of the bible, and here in chapter 8 is one of my favorite passages.

The Jewish leaders brought a woman caught in adultery to where Jesus was in the temple and asked if he thought they should stone her, as Moses said.

They didn’t care about the woman breaking the law. What they wanted was to trap Jesus, so they would have a reason to accuse him.

He was not threatened.

He said whoever had never sinned could throw the first stone, then he quietly went back to what he was doing.

They didn’t like Jesus, but his words convicted them. Every one of them left.

Jesus was left alone with the woman, the only one who rightfully could have stoned her.

But he said, “Then neither do I condemn you.”

Jesus was so calm during this interaction. The men must have been shouting; the woman was probably crying.

But Jesus, steady and unruffled, offered her hope for a new life. Uncondemned. And with confidence, he told her she could lead a life without sin.

She had probably given up on herself and her ability to lead a clean life.

And it wouldn’t be easy. Jesus knew that. He knows that for us too. But he is confident we can do it with his help.

Verses 9-11: At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Grace and Truth, John 6:22-71

This was a difficult chapter for me to unravel, with many truths from Jesus hard to understand and hard to accept.

It was the day after Jesus fed the five thousand, which caused many to follow him and seek him out. Jesus told them he knew they only came, not because they cared about him, but because they’d eaten the bread. He warned them not to strive only after physical goods, which will not last, but for what will last for eternity.

Jesus told them he is the bread of life, and that he would give his life for the world. He said that those who eat his flesh and drink his blood are the only ones who will have eternal life.

After a long time to study this, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, we know that Jesus is talking about spiritual things. But at that time, people grumbled against him, and many of his followers left him.

It seems that Jesus showed his human feelings then, asking if his close disciples would leave him too, and Peter gives one of his great statements:

Verses 68-69 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

Some of this chapter is hard to understand, but some things are easy, and I cling to these.

Verses 28-29 Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”

Verses 37-40 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

Grace and Truth, John 5:31-47

Jesus’s priority was to save us, to give us life. To prove his credentials, he boldly listed supporters of who he is:

John the Baptist

Moses

God, the Father

Scriptures

The mighty works which he performed, which his father sent him to do.

Verses 31-34,36-37: “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is true.

“You have sent to John and he has testified to the truth. Not that I accept human testimony; but I mention it that you may be saved.

“I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to finish—the very works that I am doing—testify that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me.

Prettiest Girl in School

I wanted to share a short story I wrote recently.

He was hunched on the ground by the gravestone when I walked up.

“Grandpa?”

He raised his head, and the sorrow on his face punched me in the stomach.

Grandpa straightened his shoulders. “Your mom must’ve sent you.”

I hesitated, then sat on the ground near him. “She had to go to work. She … she said you’d probably be here.”

Next to the gravestone Grandpa sat by sat a clay jar, permanently attached for receiving flowers. Inside he’d stuffed two dozen red roses.

“It’s our fiftieth anniversary. Your mom tell you that?”

“Yeah.” I’d caught that, somewhere between arguing with Jason on the phone and trying to convince Mom to send somebody else.

Grandpa brushed a leaf off the gravestone. “We got married the day after we graduated from high school. When she was twenty-three, she died giving birth to our third baby.” He looked directly at me. “That baby was your mom. She never knew the woman who carried her in her body for nine months. Who prayed for her every day until she was born.”

I lowered my gaze and picked a blade of grass.

“Lizzie, look at me.”

I raised my head.

Grandpa smiled, even as tears came to his eyes. “You ever take a good look at that wedding picture of us your mom’s got on her piano?”

“Sure … I … sure, I’ve looked at it.”

“You look just like her. Whenever I look at you, I see her just like I remember her.” He swallowed. “How old are you now?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Mmm hmmm.” He leaned back and braced  himself with his hands on the ground. “You gonna marry that boy? Jason?”

“Maybe.” I flicked my eyes away from his. “I don’t know. We were just arguing. He just graduated, but I’ve still got a year of school.” I pulled a blade of grass and ripped it in two. “He wants to take a job in Arizona. That’s a long way from here.”

Grandpa leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. “Twenty-three. With three little ones.” He shook his head. “I was a busy papa. Family helped a lot, but it was tough. I had to work, and feed them. Help them with homework, take care of them when they were sick.”

He raised his shoulders. “Then Lucy wanted to take piano lessons, and the boys got into basketball. Back and forth to lessons and practice, games and recitals. Teachers’ meetings and …” He grinned. “And meetings with the principal.”

The phone in my pocket buzzed. Probably Jason. I clenched my jaw.

“She was the best looking girl in high school.” Grandpa took in a long breath. “That’s how I remember her. And the classy young lady chasing around after two little boys.”

He smiled, then reached over and tugged my shoelace. “Is that young man good to you?”

“He …” I cleared my throat. “Yes. He’s good to me.”

“Do you love him?”

The phone vibrated again.

I shifted my position, drew up my knees, and wrapped my arms around my legs.

“Lizzie?”

“I love him, Grandpa, but … but I’ve never lived anywhere else. I even picked the college right here in town. Maybe that makes me a wimp, I don’t know. I’m scared to move so far.”

“Does he love you?”

“Oh …” Jason’s face appeared in my mind, and my face ached from the tears that wanted to come. “Yes.”

Grandpa turned his head to gaze into the woods. “I always missed her, you know? When Ronnie broke both his ankles. When Brad graduated from medical school. When your mom and dad got married. When our first grandchild was born …” He choked.

I scooted closer and touched his shoulder.

Grandpa rubbed his face. “The doctor says I need to retire. Take better care of my heart.” He patted my knee. “I’m only sixty-eight. Doc says the surgery went well. I could live a lot of years yet.” He turned to face me, his eyes dark with fear. “I’ve always missed her, but never like … What am I going to do now?”

A spasm jerked his whole body.

I laid my hand on his back. Dear God, help us …

His voice rasped. “After the kids were out of the house, I kept busy with work, with the church. But now … retired … Who’s going to sit on the porch with me? Who’ll have coffee with me and read the paper? Go on road trips to visit the boys. Help me do volunteer work.”

He covered his face with his hands. “She’s been gone forty-five years. Of course, I don’t grieve anymore like I used to. But … oh Lizzy, I’m so scared.”

We sat together, quiet—I don’t know how long. A woodpecker chattered somewhere close by. A butterfly flitted in front of us.

Grandpa lifted his head and looked at me. “Arizona, huh?”

I nodded.

“That sure is a long way from home.” He straightened up. “But just think about all the modern technology. Email, Skype, quick trips coming from either direction on a plane.” He managed a soft laugh. “And, of course, cell phones. Like the one that keeps rattling your pocket.”

My mouth opened, then closed. I smiled and squeezed his hand.

He reached to the flower vase and pulled out a rose, laying it on top of the stone. “Come on.” He stood up. “Let’s get out of here. We don’t need to linger here any longer.”

I looked up at him.

Grandpa grinned. “Besides, you’ve got a phone call to make.” He held out his hand for mine.

I took his hand, but before standing, I leaned and read the engraving on the stone. “Elizabeth Manning, beloved wife and mother, prettiest girl in school.”

The Hope of the Rich Young Ruler

In Matthew 19 and Mark 10, Jesus meets a rich young man who wants to know what he needs to do to inherit eternal life.

Jesus reminds him of the commandments, and he says he has kept all these, but he still feels he lacks something.

Jesus tells him to sell everything he has to give to the poor, then come follow him. The young man goes away sad, because he is very rich.

This can make us sad too. We never hear of that man again, and it is easy to believe he did not choose to follow Jesus.

But in verse 21 of Mark 10, it says that Jesus loved the young man. Jesus didn’t stop loving him because he walked away that day.

Jesus told the disciples it’s hard for the rich to enter eternal life, and they wondered how anyone could be saved then. Jesus told them: “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27

The young man went away sad, because his riches were important to him. Often I am sad because something is too important to me, and it keeps me from finding the joy and love God wants to shower on me.

I choose to believe there was still hope for that rich young man, because although it was hard for him to give up his riches, it was possible with God. I choose to believe that his hope didn’t end then, that Jesus still sought him even after he left that day.

I believe that, and it reminds me that God can do all things with me, too. I have that same hope. Jesus loves me, as he loved that young man, and he will keep trying to direct me every day to accept that love and find my rest in it.

Wordless Groans

Romans 8:26-27: In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

With the horror happening in our country, I want to pray, but I don’t know what to say. Praise God he helps us even with this need.